It's a NEW Season

It's a new season, it's a new day.

A fresh anointing is flowing my way.

It's a season of power and prosperity.

It's a new season coming to me.

All that was stolen is returned to you a hundred fold,

Tried in the fire but you're coming out gold.

Cling to His hand, yes, to every promise take a hold;

It's a new season!

Israel Houghton - New Season

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I don't need a calendar to tell me when the seasons are changing. God doesn't need a calendar to change my season either. It's a decision. Then it's an action. Well, a few actions... because faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). What does this mean?

Basically, it's this... if you want to see change in your life, you first need to make the decision that you are claiming change. Then, your actions need to line up with your decision. For example, if you have made the decision to lose weight, starring at the scale is not going to help you tone and drop pounds. But if your change your diet, excercise regularly, make lifestyle changes and be consistent, you will see results. Similarly, if you want to get out of debt, paying off credit cards to accumalate more debt is not going to help you reach your goal. But if you get another job, only walk with cash and cancel or reduce the available credit on your cards, you will reach your goal.

In order to walk into a new season of your life, there has to be changes and preparation. Let me share a story. My daughter went on a class trip a couple of weeks ago to a park/conservation area. We've visited this place before for a classmates birthday party but I was very confused because the majority of activities are outside and it was still cold outside. Anyway, when she returned from the trip I asked her what they did all day and she told me that they 'tapped trees' for maple syrup. So I looked outside and I was even more confused. There was still snow everywhere. What did they intend to get out of frozen trees? So I did some research and apparently Maple Trees only have a small window of opportunity for tapping, which is approximately six weeks, otherwise they will not produce a full harvest. I was amazed because I never would have guessed. I would have been out there tapping under the hot sun ASSUMING that's when the syrup would flow best.

Why am I telling you this? Because I believe the same principal applies to life. You can't wait for 'perfect weather' to prepare for your new season. Preparation starts BEFORE the season. Let's apply this to the 'desires of our hearts'. A new job - if you are awaiting the 'perfect job' make sure your resume and cover letter is on point before the posting comes up or opportunity arises. If you are trying to buy a new house or car - make sure you are working towards getting out of debt, cleaning up your credit and saving. If you are waiting for your 'perfect man' - work on yourself mind, body and soul so he has no choice BUT TO FIND YOU as his 'perfect woman'.

My point is this... if you want change, if your are waiting for breakthrough, if you are ready to walk into a new season you have to prepare, act and have faith. START HERE - make a list of things you want to see changed. Then beside each item number and list what needs to happen for that change. Then make up in your mind whether you are willing to do what is necessary or not. Because complaining about your current state when you are well able to change it makes no sense and there is no one to blame for it but yourself. And I say that with love :)

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting change. Do something different. It's a new season. It's a new day. If you're used to buying clothes to fit your weight instead of getting rid of clothes when you lose weight, change your mindset. If your used to paying with credit cards instead of waiting until you can afford it, change your mindset. If you are used to looking for a man instead of showing the 'right one' that you are available through your respectable and honourable actions, change your mindset.

It's going to take discipline because we often fall back into comfort when things get challenging. But the Word says ' let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart' (Galatians 6:9) and I believe this Word to be true. Don't miss your preparation time because that ultimately means that you will miss your new season which also means you will continue in your current season until you decide to start your preparation time again. Let us decide to prepare for all God has in store for us. Let us not be wanderers, going around the same mountain over and over and over again. I claim change and a new season! It's coming our way :)



Be Blessed DURING YOUR PREP TIME AS YOU GO INTO YOUR NEW SEASON


God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.

Submission is POWER

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.

Proverbs 3:5-7 (TNIV)

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 The world has a way of distracting you when you are on the path you are supposed to be on, when you're trying to do right.  Whether you have been staying away from certain people, controlling your temper, getting your addictions in check or building up your faith.  Something ALWAYS goes wrong.  Why is that?  Why is it that bad things happen to good people? 

Well, I've figured it out.  It took me a while, but I get it now.  The reason why things tend to spin out of control while you are heading on the right path is because God wants to know where your trust lies.  Just like a person on an airplane in serious turbulence or a person convicted of a crime and doing time for more than a few days, we tend to find God when we are in trouble.  I was no different.  Then I learned that although God wants us to call out to Him in times of trouble, He would more rather have us call out to him, in praise, when things are going well.  It would be more genuine and God is not a fool, He knows our hearts.  We can't trick Him by seeking Him only when it suits us... no wonder things go wrong.

Everything, good and bad, that happens in our lives is allowed through God.  There is nothing that occurs under the sun that God doesn't know about or hasn't allowed.  Does that make God a mean God?  No, it makes God a good God if we allow him to make it right after the bad happens.  He will give us double for our trouble, even though, more times that not, the bad that happens is based on our choices.  But when the bad that happens seems random, understand that it needed to happen to create the path that was necessary for you.  So what about the mother's that lose their babies at birth or the parents that are killed in a car accident leaving children behind or the natural disasters that come along and wipe out a good chunk of the population?  What is the good in those events?  They are devastating, no doubt.  But I realize now that there are lessons and purpose behind everything, if we just takes the time to listen to God and stay in his presence to figure it out.  

God wants us to lean and depend solely on Him.  He created us and we belong to Him.  But once we are able to 'do for ourselves' all of a sudden its like 'God who?' unless we are in trouble.  What I'm learning is that God wants us to rely on Him in EVERY area of our life, good or bad.  So, if we are having money troubles, trust in Him.  If we are having relationship problems, trust in Him.  If we are having personal, emotional, self-control issues, trust in Him.  And when we are doing well, praise Him.

But what does it mean to trust in Him?  It sounds and feels strange to trust in someone you can't even see.  Well, I been practicing and I think that God is purposely stripping away people and things in my life that I have depended on to help me realize that I can be sustained on Him alone.  I doesn't feel good, but He hasn't let me down yet (and I don't believe He will), and its getting easier and more enjoyable as the days go by.  Trusting in Him, for me, is simply saying to God 'I don't know what you're doing, I don't know why this is happening, but I'm going to trust in You.'  And I leave it there.  Before, when I first started saying that, I would say it, then automatically I would start trying to figure out how to fix my own problem by either working it out in my brain, calling someone to vent to or taking matters into my own hand without even stopping to think.  And I will tell you, every time, I ended up worse off and ended up submitting to God anyway.  And you know what's funny?  Even though at first glance it seems as though we can't see God, the truth of the matter is He is everywhere, in everything we do.  We just have to open our eyes.

Sometimes He watches us mess up so bad, in our own free will, only to open His arms to us and hold us while we cry.  All the while He is just wanting us to trust in Him.  We can't do anything in our own strength.  Anything that we 'think' we are accomplishing or striving in, God should be given the glory because he has given us the breath in our bodies, the skills, mind and strength to do all things.  So why do we cut Him out?  Why are we using Him for the things that only make sense to us?  Well, I'm learning to trust and lean on Him for things that don't make sense to me (or the people around me for that matter).  I'm going to test God and His Word.  I can't truly say 'God is faithful' unless I lean completely on Him.  Just like I can't say my car is faithful if I keep taking the bus in fear that my car might break down.  I have decided to lean on God with everything I've got. 

Submission is Power because it teaches us to control a situation with wisdom, discipline, obedience and grace.  It doesn't matter who I work for, who birthed me, who I'm related to or who I'm married to... I trust God.  He is the only one who is forever faithful and the only one who I can fully depend on.  He has never let me down, never steered me wrong and never stopped loving me.  Don't fall into the world's way of thinking that submission is a sign of weakness.  By trusting God and submitting to Him I am learning to be a better mother, a better wife and a better daughter.  Submission proves that you are able to govern yourself, your emotions and the chaos around you, with grace, as you trust in God.  

Be Blessed in BEING SUBMISSIVE!

4^-6You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what He gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." ^7-10So let God work His will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and He'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet. - James 4:6-8 (The Message)

I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. For what You have done I will always praise You in the presence of Your faithful people.  And I will hope in Your name, for Your name is good. - Psalms 52:8b-9 (NIV)

Restore My Soul

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul

Psalms 23:2-3a NKJV

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Today's thought is very 'in your gut' and straight to the point.  Some of you will get it, some of you won't.  Some will agree with it, some will ignore it.  My hope is that all of you will embrace it.  So here goes...

Our soul is made up of our mind, emotions and will- our thinker, our feeler and our chooser.  If our mind, emotions and will are not under control or submission of the Holy Spirit, we will never be able to make good decisions or choices.  If the way we think, choose and feel is distorted then our life will reflect the same inconsistency and chaos.  We will not see sustainable changes in our life until we restore our soul.

We can attend church everyday, read a book or two and know the Bible from front to back but unless we have renewed our minds and taken control of our emotions we will remain in lack, unhealthy, lonely and living without purpose.  Regardless of whether we are single, married, wealthy, broke, educated or uneducated.  We can no longer neglect the fact that our 'roots' are damaged.

Just because Jesus went to the Cross for our sins, deficiencies and iniquities does not allow us to disregard our responsibilities for self.  What am I saying?  We can not pray for the desires of our hearts and accept deliverance as we live in disobedience, unruliness, disrespect for God, self and others, lack of self-control and self-righteousness ALL WHILE expecting change and breakthrough.  We will cancel ourselves out, remain stagnant and sometimes digress in life under those circumstances.  Please don't misunderstand.  God will continue to bless us and allow favour into our lives BUT in order for us to tap into His Greatness in us and the true desires in our hearts, we have to work on our thoughts, feelings and self-control.

Once we are able to bring our soul under submission to the Holy Spirit, depression will become joy, chaos will become peace, dysfunctional will become functional, average will become great, lack will become abundance, confusion will become creativity and frustration will become purpose.  The Holy Spirit and our soul are at war.  Our soul needs to be put under manners.  

Submitting our mind, emotions and will to the Spirit and developing self-control is one of the most difficult things we will have to do in this life.  This is why the devil attacks there first - he deceives our mind, plays with our thoughts, creates instability in our emotions and magnifies our feelings to overpower our choices.  This is the same way he deceived Eve in the garden, he knows that our 'thinker, chooser and feeler' can be easily swayed, if not under the control and authority of the spirit.  As long as he can get us thinking we are not good enough, that we'll never have all that we desire and that God's love and provisions for us doesn't go past Sunday, then our choices, thoughts and feelings will lead us in the same direction.

We can not have authority in the Spiritual realm if we have no authority over ourselves (our thoughts, our emotions and our will) in the physical realm.  In other words... we can not expect God's Word to come to life in the physical if our physical doesn't line up with God's word (Galatians 5:16-25 NKJV).

Be Blessed in RESTORING YOUR SOUL

⁶ Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, ⁷ casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. ⁸ Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. - 1 Peter 5:6-7

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest - Matthew 11:28

God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.

I got Questions...

1. What does it mean to be a Christian?  
2. What makes someone a Christian?  
3. Is it defined by accepting Jesus as your Savior and believing His death and resurrection... or is it more than that?  
4. Can someone be a "Christian", accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior, cuss people out and be critical of others every other day AND still make it into Heaven?  
5. Is being a Christian the same or different to be a follower of Christ?  
6. What does it mean to be Christ-like? 
7. Does God want us to be like Christ or Christ-like?  
8. If God is our only judge, and Christians are supposed to be followers of His Word, why do Christians feel they can and should judge others?
9. Are we, as Christians, supposed to hold ourselves to a higher standard simply because we're are Christians?
10. If so, is that why Christians can be judgmental?
11. If we are Christians, God is Love and we are followers of God and His Word, why is loving ourselves and others so hard at times?
12. If we are all blessed with gifts, talents and skills, does that give any of us the right to govern over the other?
13. When Christians genuinely want to help other Christians, why is it often seen as an offensive act by the recipient as oppose to an act of encouragement?

Isn't it ironic how God blesses us with love, mercy, grace and forgiveness but His representatives, including myself, have a tendency to fall short in these departments?

I've reached a point in my walk that I Got Questions about my walk, my faith and my future.  I will never renounce God or Christianity... but I'm really trying to define it for myself.  What Christianity and my relationship with God is SUPPOSED to look like.  I need Him.  I know that more than ever.  But I Got Questions.

I've posed these questions to the world because I believe that since Ms. Houston's funeral aired all over the world for believers and non believers to see, we have a duty, responsibility and accountability to represent Christ as we are supposed to.  For the purpose that God Almighty made us.  He made us in His Image to represent Him.  And as I am convicted, even as I write this blog, I realize that the point is the spread His word and show mercy, grace, love and forgiveness just as He does.  But do we?

I can speak for myself - in my marriage, towards my children, towards my parents and friends - I thank God for His mercy because I don't think I measure up according to His Will.  Not yet anyway.  I try, I'm working on it, and daily I feel I get better... but it's those back slides that get me every time.  That bring on the guilt.  I've always had an issue with controlling my tongue.  I've graduated from cussing everyone out whenever I feel like it to giving you a piece of my mind without cussing to speaking out of turn frequently to choosing my words wisely before speaking to not speaking nearly as much as I would like to.

My biggest struggle is self control.  I want to make my Daddy so proud that it brings me to tears sometimes. Especially because I know He loves me either way.  At the end of the day, I want to get to the point that I can shed the feelings of guilt and accept the self-conviction, make conscious changes and turn it around for His Glory.  I guess I can be my biggest judge.  Whether that's a good or bad thing, I'm not sure.  But what I do knows is that I'm developing, I'm healing and I'm changing.   He guides me in everything that I do and I thank Him for ordering my steps.  Glory be to God.  Great things He has done!  I'M MOVING FORWARD FOR HIS PURPOSE!

Amen

Be Blessed in BEING AN GOOD EXAMPLE OF YOUR FAITH

Loving YOU

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28 NIV

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So, I have been thinking a lot about the world, life, friends and family. A lot of my e-mails stem from things that I have struggled with or things I am currently struggling with so today will not be any different. My conviction today is based on my desire to reach out and speak to those who are at a place in their lives that they are not completely happy because I have been there and I know how much that feeling sucks. I know you may be thinking 'it is impossible to be COMPLETELY happy' but that is sooooo untrue. The devil's greatest trick is convincing the world that he doesn't exist. And to complete his magic show, he has also convinced us to be satisfied in our misery as he has made it to appear to be the norm. My current struggle is figuring out how to convince those who need it that life doesn't have to be mediocre, a struggle or miserable.

The current 'hot topic' in the world is Whitney Houston and her sudden death. She has been a part of my thought process for the past week as I find it intriguing and disturbing that there are people that we know and love that PRESENT as happy but are dying quietly inside. I used to be one of them. Whether Ms. Houston's death was accidently or not, we know for sure she had issues with drugs to help mask her pains. For those of you who read my e-mail about 'Clouds' (4/1/12) at one point or another we have fallen into a cycle of covering up and masking our insecurities, pain and issues instead of dealing with them head on. How can we love who we are if we don't know who we are?

When I think about my life seven years ago I have to shake my head. I used to do some really dumb and crazy things for love, for attention and to fill my voids. I didn't understand how important it was to love myself and more importantly I didn't understand how much God loved me. When I looked around at my life back then and realized how unhappy I was really was, I had to say to myself "enough is enough". I had to start cutting things out of my life that I had used to define me. Funny enough though, they really didn't define me at all - not the real me at least. I had to learn to start saying 'NO' to those late night random calls for Tom, Dick and Harry, 'NO' to going to clubs/lounges and wasting my time and money with people looking to fulfill their selfish needs for the night and 'NO' to drinking like a fish and smoking enough to make chimneys jealous. Needless to say, things didn't change overnight but it didn't matter because I knew I NEEDED a change. I wanted to be happy, I wanted my daughter to be happy, I wanted to move forward, I wanted to marry a man who loved me for ME, I wanted to fulfill my dreams. And I knew I couldn't do that by living how I was living. I need to learn how to love myself the RIGHT way.

Imagine my shock when I started to spend time with myself and dig deep inside of me only to find how insecure I was, how scared I was, how unloved and unloveable I felt and how bitter and angry I was. I had really done some damage to myself and listened to a plethora of lies that had brought me to a place that LOVING ME became a task because I didn't know who 'ME' was. I had let people - friends, family, exes, the father of my child and society - put me in a box. They had defined me which ultimately meant they defined my thoughts, my feelings and my outcome. Don't get me wrong, I am not bashing anyone or placing blame on people's innocence and genuine good intentions however I do want people to understand that your external sources shouldn't define you because your internal source is who you are. It is a HUGE problem when your external sources BECOMES your internal source.

I don't want to confuse anyone so I will cut to the chase. 'YOU' are all you have at the end of the day - your thoughts, your feelings and your destiny. If loving you is based on what others think about you, feel about you and see for your future then you will be stuck in a cycle of misery and people-pleasing until you choose to get off the merry-go-round. We deceive ourselves everyday into putting on a brave face to make people believe we are happy and everything is all good. But if you could take a snap shot of your heart - your spiritual heart that breds your true love, joy and peace - what would it look like? Whole? Decayed? Partial? In need of a transplant? Well, I'll speak for myself... my heart was sooooooo full of decay and holes that I couldn't love anyone properly because I didn't know how to love myself. I accepted 'love' from anyone who would give it to me because my definition of 'love' was based on decay and holes. We are a reflection of our hearts. We choose 'the best' for ourselves based on our heart's condition.

Since I started this journey to Operation: Loving Me, I've had to go through some SERIOUS trials, tests and challenges. It's not easy whipping your spiritual 'true self' heart back in shape. It takes A LOT of changes. I had to learn not to settle. I had to learn that I was not a castaway because I was a single mother. I had to learn that it was more important for me to learn to love myself than it was for me to find love. It's a lifestyle change, a conscious change and sometimes a lonely change. But rest assured. You won't be lonely for long on your journey. God is with you always. I was committed to learning to love me the RIGHT WAY because if I didn't love me the right way, how did I expect someone else to? And once God saw that I was committed to the process, He sent me someone to walk with me on my journey. AND HE WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU. Don't get stuck thinking it has to be the father of your child(ren) or it has to be that dude that calls you once in a while, takes you out sometimes but only knows your number really well when he wants SOMETHING or even the guy who loves you more than you love him. You're better than that. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN THAT.

Be Blessed in LAYING DOWN YOUR BURDENS AND LOVING YOU


"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” ― Maya Angelou


“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” ― Maya Angelou


“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” ― Maya Angelou



God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.



The Storm is OVER Now

It's over now. I feel like i can make it. The storm is over now.

No more cloudy days.  They're all gone, gone away.  

I feel like i can make it. The storm is over now

If i walk alone. I'm not on my own. I feel like i can make it. The storm is over now

No more cloudy day. The storm is over now. No more crying at night. The storm is over now.

No more sickness in my body. The storm is over now.

No more tears and sorrow. No more heartache and pain. No more suffering.

No more.  It's over now.

- The storm is Over Now (Kirk Franklin)

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I've known that Kirk Franklin song for YEARS.  I mean, I think it was one of the first songs that I held onto to help me get through my teen pregnancy, school and the other mess that was going on.  It helped me realize that the storm has to end sometime.  There is never a storm that goes on forever and ever.  It may last for a while.  It may even wreak havoc and create a season of clean up and restoration.  But it still can't last forever.

So as I've held onto that, it has been my closing statement for a lot of my trials and tribulations.  But as I am walking into a new season and faith in my life, I have come to realize something else.  Something more profound and insightful.  I thank God for His wisdom because now I can share it with you.

Over the past couple years, I have really been working on renewing my mind, controlling my emotions and getting my will under the obedience of God and I have been feeling like I'm on the home stretch.  Of course, I still have work to do.  We ALL do because we were not born without sin so we don't live without sin BUT we can live in the fullness of His grace for the sin and sins that we may commit. 

What am I saying?  I'm saying that I understand now, in a moment of clarity as I blasted this song through my house, that the storm was never external.  It was never my pregnancy, it was never my struggle through school, it was never my financial situation and it was never my relationships.  The storm was in me.

Read the song over again and really 'take in' what I just said.  As I listened to it this morning, my eyes opened wide when I felt His peace wash over me.  Like I had just been released from the torrential rains, destructive winds and unpredictable earthquakes (some high, some low on the Richter scale) inside of me.  The storm has always been IN me.  

The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.  And EVERYTHING he wants is IN you.  If he can steal your joy and peace, he can have health.  If he can kill your trust, he can have you marriage.  If he can destroy your finances, he can have your security.  He doesn't want or need ANY of your external stuff... he wants what's IN you to reflect on what's outside of you.

The storm has never been on the outside.  Everything I have been writing about in the past few months has brought me to this revelation.  The storm is not around you, it is IN you.  And because you have dominion over your mind, body and soul... COMMAND IT TO STOP.  Tell yourself 'enough is enough'.  I'm taking back my finances, I'm taking back my peace, I'm taking back my marriage, I'm taking back my health, I'm taking back my joy, I'm taking back my mind, I'm taking back God's Will for my life, I'm taking it ALL back.  THE STORM IS OVER NOW.

Ask God to help you RECOVER all that has been stolen.  Ask God to REVIVE all that has 'died' in you.  Ask God to RESTORE all that has been destroyed. He can do it.  He just needs YOU to agree with Him, have faith and believe that it will come to pass.  Don't let the devil convince you that it's hopeless.  Don't let the devil make you believe that it's irreversible.  Don't let the devil convince you that all is lost.  Because if you believe him, your storm will NEVER be over.  He'll just keep tearing you up, inside and out.

Envision the devil as a tornado, destroying everything in it's path... your potential, your dreams, your children, your finances, your peace, your joy, your health, your future.  Now envision yourself, brave as ever, knees shaking and everything, standing in his path with your hand up saying "STOP!  THIS STORM IS OVER NOW!!!"  Now watch the tornado spin around you, not touching you, over and over and again, trying to scare you, DON'T YOU MOVE, keep that hand up, close your eyes if you have to. Stand strong. Lean on His Word. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. You're more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. He died so that you might have life and have it more abundantly... SAY IT... DECLARE IT... DON'T MOVE... he's losing power, he's coming around again, but he's losing power. Here he comes again, he's trying to regain a hold on you, don't move. Your child is cussing you out. Don't move. Bills are coming in. Don't move. Money is TIGHT. Don't move. You feel alone. Don't move. Why did he cheat on me? Don't move. You feel sick. Don't move. You feel out of control. Don't move. You're scared. Don't move, STAND STRONG. Stretch your arms high and wide, look UP to your Deliverer and DON'T MOVE!!!!  

Now watch as he goes away, unable to move you, defeated, nothing but a faint breeze in your life now because the Word, which was made flesh [Jesus Christ], is in YOU.  

Believe it! Receive it! Declare it! THE STORM IS OVER NOW.  

Be Blessed in RECOVERING, REVIVING AND RESTORING ALL THAT YOU THOUGHT WAS LOST IN YOU 

The thief comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life—life in all its fullness. - John 10:10 GNT

God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.

Optimism vs. Pessimism

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

John 16:33 NLT

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I have been struggling with something for a while. I would say for over 10 years. I have innate joy, which I think we have all been blessed with, but for some reason it has a tendency to only shine through when all is well. When everything is going just as I would like it to go. I struggle with this because I God calls us to be full of joy at ALL times. When things are going well and not so well. So I have been really thinking about this because it has come to the point that it annoys me. Why is everyone around me smiling and having fun but sometimes it 'hurts my face' to do the same? Why would I rather stay 'stuck being miserable'? Why is my reaction thoughts of anger instead of contemplation in peace? Why do I recognize the negatives before I praise the positives?

Then it hit me. Somewhere along my journey in life, my lens for which I see the world became really dirty, distorted and contaminated, which resulted in everything around me looking the same. I remember one time about 8 years ago I was on the 401 driving in a pretty bad rain storm. Shouldn't have been a big deal but I was driving a new car and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get the defroster to work properly. So as the rain was coming down pretty hard my visibility became close to nonexistent. All I could see was the blur of red lights beyond the fogged glass which wasn't that bad BUT what made it worse was the downpour of rain on the glass ON TOP of the fog. Needless to say, I was panicking. There are a few moments in life that I have prayed for my life to be spared and this was definitely one of them. And as I had to lean and trust in God to guide me completely in my blind state... the glass cleared. Literally a moment of clarity that I couldn't have paid for with the best windshield wipers.

So what am I saying? I'm saying that too often we go through life WILLING to focus on the negatives, what's going wrong, what could have been, what should have been, what if's and why not's. I believe that's how we miss out on good relationships, great marriages, our purpose, enjoying our children and making good decisions. We base our life, our moments, our time, our energy on what if's and how come's. I ALWAYS have to check myself when my kids are trying to drive me crazy... I have to train myself to think, thank God their healthy. When my husband does something that gets on my nerves, instead of getting upset with him, I thank God he's here. When my bank account isn't showing me the figures I would like, I have to say to myself, 'thank God I have a house, food and my bills paid. This is only temporary.' It isn't easy. I wouldn't be writing about it if it wasn't something I have been thinking about or struggling with.

I've always 'envied' the people who go through life everyday with a smile like they don't see the world around them, like they aren't taking in the madness. My husband is like that. And it would annoy me to no end lol. I would be like 'don't you hear the kids? It sounds like a zoo in here!' and he would laugh and say 'they're having fun'. And I'd want to blow my top lol. But I'm learning. Even as I'm writing this, I'm learning. In the last paragraph alone, my eldest son is running around me, he took my robe and the pillow I'm sitting on to build a fort. My youngest son is downstairs with my husband, fussing, because he is tired/teething/hungry/hot... who knows? God give me strength lol.

Obviously my time is limited but I will not neglect to deliver this very important message as it relates to me and will more than likely relate to you... how you view, respond, react, approach and embrace life is based on your the perspective you CHOOSE to view it from. Once you recognize that your 'lens' is dirty, CLEAN IT. Turn your pessimism into optimism in one quick swipe. Easier said than done, I know, ESPECIALLY when there is YEARS of grime on there. Let the Word be your Windex. I had to pray for change when I was driving through that storm. My clarity was finally figuring out how the defroster works. You'll never find clarity if you're satisfied in the storm. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Let me break it down further. At the beginning of my marriage, things were chaotic. We were newlyweds, just had twins and just bought a new house. STRESS. So, my husband and I would really get into it from time to time because I had a perspective of blame, disrespect, disobedience and unruliness. I didn't know better so I couldn't do better. But I figured, everything was his fault. Until I was watching Pastor Joel Osteen one day and God fixed my business. I will make a long story short, I had to learn to submit to God and my husband to enjoy a peaceful, respectful, functioning, loving marriage. Now, for those of you who are married, seeking marriage, in a relationship, engaged or divorced, listen to me very closely... you will never have the marriage or relationship you want until you get rid of the dirty and grimy mentality you have observed, learned or have been taught.

Your boyfriend/husband is not your saviour. His purpose is not to fix you or your life. His purpose is to lead. Your boyfriend/husband can not lead in a place of chaos and confusion. He is the head and NO HEAD can function in disorder. Your job is to be a peace maker, create order, be obedient and be submissive. The world (and your mother, aunty, cousins and friends) will have you think that that means he will take advantage of you, use you, abuse you and rule you. And to be totally honest, IF that happens, it won't be because you're doing something wrong, it'll be because you PICKED UP something wrong. In reality, following God's order creates harmony instead of war and function instead of dysfunction.

Being submissive and obedient to God and your significant other will more than likely go against every grain of sense and independence you have in your body. I know because I felt like I was going to explode and implode, all at the same time, when I started this process. But I can GUARANTEE that it works. As long as your willing to check yourself at the door. Submission and obedience is not for the weak. It is all about self-control. So next time you want to give someone the silent treatment, complain, nag or step out because your man isn't being who YOU think he should be... take a look in the mirror because he is a reflection of you. How can your man treat you like a queen if he doesn't know how it feels to be treated like a king? Before you jump down my throat about that statement, really think about what I'm saying. I'm not talking about king treatment on his birthday, on your good days or on pay day... I mean EVERYDAY. Would God appreciate being loved and appreciated only once in a while?

My point is this... optimism vs. pessimism... does life suck based on your standards or because of your reality? Is your marriage failing because of you, your husband, lack of effort or lack of order? Are you single because of you or because EVERY guy out there 'has issues'? There has to be a point when you say 'hold on a second. Something is off. Its time for a change.' God put it to me this way... 'Now that you've reached rock bottom with your way... are you ready to try My Way?' Are you?

Be Blessed IN CLEANING YOUR LENS

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. - 1 Corinthians 13:11


God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.



A Story about a Girl

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

Psalms 139:14-15 NIV

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This is a story about a girl who went through hell and back before she realized who she was...

This little girl grew up in a predominately white neighbourhood and city and only knew a few black people that she attended church with as well as the couple that attended the same school as her.  This little girl had a joy in her that seeped through her pores every time she laughed and smiled but, unfortunately, her joy was always overshadowed by the world around her - the unrest in her home, the images on television and the criticism at school.  What made matters worse was that she didn't really feel pretty or feel good about herself.

At school, she was made fun of and felt different because of her hair, skin colour and the size of her lips.  At home, although she was loved, the love was tainted with anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and selfishness.  She was never told she was pretty or valued or worthy.  And maybe it was because her parents didn't know they were valued or worthy...  Either way, Jesus loved her, this she knew, but love to her was conditional and ugly, and didn't look like anything that was described in the bible or at church.

As time went on and she grew, she became excited about her future, but she was confused.  She didn't know where and how she fit in.  She had big dreams, she wanted to do good for others and she wanted to make a difference.  But as she got older, life became more and more confusing.  She had so much love inside of her but felt she had no one to give it to.  No one to share it with.  No one to trust.  What was worse is that sometimes she felt like a stranger in her own world, like she didn't even belong in her own skin.  She wanted to be accepted.  She wanted trust.  She wanted to love.

Her childhood wasn't all bad though.  There were definitely some very positive, memorable moments such as family trips, school accomplishments, sports accomplishments etc.  Unfortunately though, what tends to happen in life is that we are shaped by our negative moments as oppose to our positive moments.

At the beginning of high school, the little girl who had become an adolescent, moved to a city that was much more diverse and had a lot more black people.  Although the move initially devastated her, she definitely fit in a lot better in the new city.  But it was overwhelming and she didn't know how to handle the positive attention as she was coming from a place where she either got negative or no attention, especially from the boys.  Boys were attracted to her, friends were easy to make and within the first week of school, she was apart of the 'in' crowd.  But that didn't make her 'ugly girl complex' disappear.  In fact, it seemed to make it worse because she felt that she would be willing to do almost to avoid feeling like an outcast again.  And though she was 'enjoying' her new found acceptance, she was still struggling with defining herself, love and trust.

As an added bonus, upon their move, her family started attending a church with a larger congregation and more black people.  Needless to say, the girl became very involved in the church choir and youth groups.  It felt like another family and they represented the closet thing to the love that she had bottled up inside of her.  

At one of the church events, she met a young man (a few years old than her), and they became very close.  Their spirits seem to connect on a familiar level: their need for love.  As the years went on and the girl made the transition from a teen to a young woman, she continued to struggle with her identity and compromised her value and values by fornicating, doing drugs, drinking alcohol excessively and taking risks.  Although life seemed grand, she was dying inside because she knew deep down that she was better than what she had become. 

She remained active in the church and was ultimately living a double life.  She continued to date the young man she met at church but was never able to get her need for love met because she was always meeting his need, hoping that one day it would be reciprocated.  But it never was.  So she continued to try to fill her void with the drugs and alcohol and eventually occasional dating outside of the relationship.  As the relationship with the young man seemed to be running its course, she became pregnant and the relationship subsequently came to an end after almost 4 yrs.

The young lady was in her last year of high school by now and tried her hardest to hide the pregnancy from everyone as she knew she had gone to far this time and would now have to pay for her poor choices.  Her parents eventually found out and voiced their grave disappointment and suggested alternatives for how she should deal with her 'mistake'.  And though she was not happy with herself, she could not accept the alternatives because she knew her pregnancy was not a mistake... because God doesn't make mistakes.  Especially a nine month mistake.

So, she had been rejected by her boyfriend, rejected by her family, and worse still, she was rejected by the church.  Once the church caught wind of the pregnancy, she was kicked out of the choir because they were concerned about how it would look.  She was also left out of most of the church events to protect their image.  Love and trust had taken an ugly turn again.  

When she needed her families the most, they reinforced her guilt and shame.  Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness began to grow in her and her self-worth, perception of the world and her idea of love was at its worse and she had no one to turn to.  Even her 'friends' judged her and made her feel stupid.  She felt like she had really messed up.

Eventually, the 'sting' of the pregnancy wore off and she brought a beautiful baby girl into the world.  But she couldn't love her the way she wanted to because life had taught her that love was judgmental, selfish, self-righteous and conditional.  She felt that her daughter deserved better - a better mother, a better life, a better future.  So, she tried to make that happen.  And she found out that when you try to do things your way instead or God's way, it's always harder.

So, the young lady got into University the following year as the beginning of her plan to get things back on track.  But with all the baggage, hurt and pain she had taken on over the years, she quickly fell back into her familiar pattern of drugs, alcohol and looking for love in all the wrong places and faces.  Consequently, mid-way through her second year, she became pregnant again.

She was devastated.  All of her feelings of shame, guilt, rejection, stupidity and self-hate came flooding back.  All the voices from her family, friends and church members that made her feel ostracized and rejected played over and over and over in her head.  She couldn't do it again, she couldn't live through it again.  Having one child was hard enough, who would want her with two?  What will people think?  How would she make it?  What about school?

With tears pouring down her cheek, bawling, as she sat in the stall of a washroom down the hall from her afternoon lecture (with her best friend holding her in her arms), she made the hardest and most regretted decision she has ever had to make.  She decided to have an abortion.

The next couple years were like a blur to her as her soul fell further and further into an abyss.  The last time she had been to church was 5 years ago when her daughter was Christened in the back room of the church because the church could not be accepting of a life, its destiny and purpose, regardless of its conception.  Apparently, their image had to be protected and they had forgotten Who gives life.  To her, the church had become a government ruled by policy and religion as oppose as a hospital that tended to the broken and wounded.

But thank God that he didn't give up on this young lady.  After another year of anger and bitterness, she got fed up with her endless fall and was eventually able to start the road of forgiveness and healing.  It wasn't easy, but she returned to church, determined to live for God and not people and rededicated her life to God.  As she got more involved in the church and attended more regularly, she met her husband.

And as she continues to sift through and dispel her tainted perceptions of love and trust, she has finally come to a place in her life where she knows the love that has been hibernating in her for as long as she can remember - God's Love.  Because of that love and His love that flows through her husband, she has found herself, in His Image.

And now I know who I AM.

Be Blessed IN TELLING YOUR STORY.

Walking on Water

“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.

“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:27b-31 NIV

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I woke up this morning in a bit of a panic. I was fine all week, but the weight of the decisions I have been making seemed to be pulling me down this morning. Although I was wide awake (lying in my bed) I felt like I was standing in a boat with one foot in and one foot out, on the water. Common sense was telling me "Get back in the boat!" But my heart was pleading with me saying "Trust me. Step out of the boat".

As my day went on, I was experiencing waves of emotions - panic, anxiety, excitement, peace, joy and worry. But most of all - urgency. A quickening in my spirit to do what I know I have been called to do. What I was born to do. It has been my strong desire to follow my heart that has kept me from getting back in the boat, even when my mind, my thoughts, my 'common sense' tells me otherwise.

The one thing I love about my Brother and my Father (I'm refering to Jesus and God), is that they make crazy seem sane. If anyone had asked me a couple years ago to make the decisions I've made over the past month, I'd laugh them to shame. But now, I can say with confidence "I'm trusting in God." And the only thing I can compare 'trusting God' to is the story of Peter. I understand why Peter started to sink because I think that's what our faith represents from time to time... trusting God until it gets too hard, trusting God until it doesn't look like it's going to work out, trusting God until we feel like we're sinking.

But God is saying 'Trust in Me always. Trust in Me in the good times and the bad times. Trust in Me when you have money and when you're broke. Trust in Me when you feel full of joy and when you are depressed. Trust in Me always. I won't let you drown.' And I'm learning that to trust in God inclusively and exclusively is scary and reassuring all at the same time.

Peter really didn't have to worry about sinking... he just THOUGHT he did. We really don't have to worry about going hungry... we just THINK we do. We don't have to worry about never getting married... we just THINK we do. And we don't have to worry about being miserable or broke or alone for the rest of our lives... WE JUST THINK WE DO.

If God wanted us to worry or be unhealthy or be broke or be stressed or lonely or have relationships that are lacking He NEVER would have sent His Son to die for all of that. By thinking and worrying and sabotaging and being disobedient and being unforgiving we are saying to God 'You didn't have to send Jesus to die for us... we prefer to be miserable, broke, busted and disgusted. Thank you very much.'

Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired of all that. I've tried trusting myself, I've tried trusting in man, I've tried trusting in the government, my job and my education. I'm tried-out. Moving forward, I'm going to trust God. I'm going to lean on His promises, I'm going to follow His instructions and I'm going to be obedient to His Word. I'm going hard. Not because I'm a super Christian and a religious monarch but because I've been sinking all my life and today, I declare, I'm ready to walk on water. Amen.

Be Blessed IN STEPPING OUT OF THE BOAT

34So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. - Matthew 6:34 AMP

Clear as Clay

O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You our Potter, and we all are the work of Your hand.

Isaiah 64:8 AMP

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I was listening to the live service online from The Potter's House (www.tdjakes.org - Dallas) this weekend and the message (delivered by one of the associate pastors, Sheryl Brady) brought such clarity.  I've found that over the past few months, God has been guiding me - giving me direction and ordering my steps - through messages, books and personal experiences.  And I'm so grateful for the lessons although I am just now starting to understand why it has been "hurting' so much.  I've heard pastor's refer to God as a potter but I've never understood His purpose and my purpose the way Pastor Brady laid it all out in her message.

And it got me thinking... in grade school we had a 'clay day' where we had the opportunity to make a plate, bowl or cup out of clay.  I remember rolling, pounding and kneading this clump of clay to loosen it in attempt to manipulate and mold it in the masterpiece I was envisioning and eventually, it started to take shape.  I decided to make a bowl and after forming it to perfection, it was put into the kiln to bake.  I remember being amazed when our teacher told us that the kiln needs to be heated to over 2000 degrees and our clay formations would have to bake for about 18 hours.  I remember thinking "how can it take that kind of heat?"  Then she explained that the baking and subsequent cooling was necessary for the clay to maintain its permanent form.  In my case, as a bowl.

Next, I was given the opportunity to paint and add decorative designs to my bowl.  Some of my classmates chose to leave theirs plain but I saw an example of what the finished product could look like, with paint and decorative designs, and that's what I wanted.  So I painted with the anticipation that my bowl was going to look great.  I envisioned it and now I was anxious to see the finished product.  I don't know how many of you have seen a vase or bowl made out of clay, painted, after it is removed from the kiln but the finish is beautiful.

Looking back at that experience now, I have to laugh because I loved that bowl.. I think I may even have given it to my dad for Father's Day.  And there really wasn't anything particularly special or outstanding about the bowl except for the fact that I made it, I invested time and energy into it, it was my masterpiece and I loved it.

And that's how God sees us.  We are His clay.  He sees our potential and beauty even when we look and feel like a clump of clay.  He kneads us and works with us until we reflect His Image... what He envisions us to be.  Even as we are going through our different stages of rolling, pounding and baking, He knew us (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV).  He could see our Greatness, even when we didn't see it ourselves, because He made us.

So, if you are going through a time in your life that feels rough, like nothing is going to change, it's hard to the positive and it feels like you're going in circles... just think of yourself as clay and God as your potter.  He's working on you, pounding you and rolling you.  He's beating out the lumps and kneading you to perfection.  He's adding heat to keep you steadfast.  And finally, He will add paint to adorn you.  Clay can't make itself a plate or a vase so stop resisting and submit to Him, your Potter.  Only the Potter's touch can turn a clump into a masterpiece.  Let Him mold you.  Let Him use you.

Be Blessed in BEING GOD'S MASTERPIECE.

²Arise and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My words. ³Then I went down to the potter's house, and behold, he was working at the wheel.    ⁴And the vessel that he was making from clay was spoiled in the hand of the potter; so he made it over, reworking it into another vessel as it seemed good to the potter to make it. - Jeremiah 18:2-4 AMP

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." - Jeremiah 1:5 NIV