“Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
Matthew 14:27b-31 NIV
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I woke up this morning in a bit of a panic. I was fine all week, but the weight of the decisions I have been making seemed to be pulling me down this morning. Although I was wide awake (lying in my bed) I felt like I was standing in a boat with one foot in and one foot out, on the water. Common sense was telling me "Get back in the boat!" But my heart was pleading with me saying "Trust me. Step out of the boat".
As my day went on, I was experiencing waves of emotions - panic, anxiety, excitement, peace, joy and worry. But most of all - urgency. A quickening in my spirit to do what I know I have been called to do. What I was born to do. It has been my strong desire to follow my heart that has kept me from getting back in the boat, even when my mind, my thoughts, my 'common sense' tells me otherwise.
The one thing I love about my Brother and my Father (I'm refering to Jesus and God), is that they make crazy seem sane. If anyone had asked me a couple years ago to make the decisions I've made over the past month, I'd laugh them to shame. But now, I can say with confidence "I'm trusting in God." And the only thing I can compare 'trusting God' to is the story of Peter. I understand why Peter started to sink because I think that's what our faith represents from time to time... trusting God until it gets too hard, trusting God until it doesn't look like it's going to work out, trusting God until we feel like we're sinking.
But God is saying 'Trust in Me always. Trust in Me in the good times and the bad times. Trust in Me when you have money and when you're broke. Trust in Me when you feel full of joy and when you are depressed. Trust in Me always. I won't let you drown.' And I'm learning that to trust in God inclusively and exclusively is scary and reassuring all at the same time.
Peter really didn't have to worry about sinking... he just THOUGHT he did. We really don't have to worry about going hungry... we just THINK we do. We don't have to worry about never getting married... we just THINK we do. And we don't have to worry about being miserable or broke or alone for the rest of our lives... WE JUST THINK WE DO.
If God wanted us to worry or be unhealthy or be broke or be stressed or lonely or have relationships that are lacking He NEVER would have sent His Son to die for all of that. By thinking and worrying and sabotaging and being disobedient and being unforgiving we are saying to God 'You didn't have to send Jesus to die for us... we prefer to be miserable, broke, busted and disgusted. Thank you very much.'
Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired of all that. I've tried trusting myself, I've tried trusting in man, I've tried trusting in the government, my job and my education. I'm tried-out. Moving forward, I'm going to trust God. I'm going to lean on His promises, I'm going to follow His instructions and I'm going to be obedient to His Word. I'm going hard. Not because I'm a super Christian and a religious monarch but because I've been sinking all my life and today, I declare, I'm ready to walk on water. Amen.
Be Blessed IN STEPPING OUT OF THE BOAT
34So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. - Matthew 6:34 AMP
