FOCUSED

2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.  

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 

6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 1:2-6

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A few months ago, I embarked on a journey that really put my faith to the test.  And as I settle into my new season, I see God's grace and kindness working wonders in my life as He blesses me with wisdom and opens doors for me to stroll through.  More than anything, I understand now what all of my exhaustion, tears and frustration has been about... He has led me to a time such as this.  

Over the past few months, whether you realize it or not, I have poured out my heart to all of you via e-mail as I felt inspired to reach out and put words to some of the frustrations that you all may have been feeling as well.  And I appreciated all of the feedback and blessings I received in return, although that was simply icing on the cake.  Through these e-mails, my desire was to encourage everyone to acknowledge their flaws, challenges and struggles in hope that by bringing them to the forefront, you can let them go and step into whatever new season God has for you.  Some of you may have got that, some of you may not.  Either way, I at least hoped for peace in realizing our struggles are a commonality instead of a differentiating factor among us.

For those of you who don't know, the e-mail "Walking on Water" (sent on February 3, 2012) marked my last day at my full-time, good paying job (with benefits)... because I quit.  I have a husband, four children, a mortgage and bills.  BUT I also have dreams and I have a vision.  And I knew I couldn't follow God's plan for my life trying to balance everything.  I was drowning and I knew something had to give.  I'm not telling everyone to go and quit their jobs, definitely not, because the last few months haven't been easy.  But by His grace, we have ridden out the storm and now I'm FOCUSED.  More than ever in my life.  And I know God NEVER would have brought me this far to leave me.

So what am I saying?  Firstly, I may be MIA (missing in action) for a while.  For those of you who look forward to getting these e-mails weekly, I apologize, but I have to live on purpose.  I will attempt to share my thoughts, challenges, successes and set-backs as the days go by but if you don't hear from me... know that I'm FOCUSED.  I have a job to do and if I have learned nothing else over the last few months, it's this: the passions in my heart deserve my full attention - my kids, my husband, my home and my dreams.  And though it may seem like divided attention, I have learned to give each of them my full attention at the right and proper times... and it has brought me joy and peace.

Secondly, don't be scared of the desires God has put in your heart.  Ask Him for guidance.  Seek godly counsel and most of all, pray.  He will show you the way and make your paths clear.  The only time we struggle is when we go off course.  Psalm 16:11 says "[He] has made known to [you] the path of life; [He] will fill [you] with joy in [His] presence, with eternal pleasures at [His] right hand."  Trust in Him in ALL you do and NEVER lean on your own understanding, thoughts and feelings.  He already knows where you're going to end up... and it's ALL good.  Trust Him.  He will ALWAYS make a way out of no way.  Just trust Him and STAY FOCUSED.

Be Blessed in TRUSTING GOD

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4

P.S. I still use my e-mail often enough that if anyone wants to chat or just say 'hello' I could respond... and I would love that :)

God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.

Field of Dreams

"Only God has a way of breaking you to make you whole."

When I was younger, I wanted to be a teacher. I loved being in a position that enabled me to motivate, encourage and inspire people to do better. My dad wanted me to be a lawyer. For a while, he had me sold on the idea. I was enticed by the thought of being entrusted to adovocate on someones behalf. I also loved to write... I think my mom still has some of my short stories. But some where down the line, I lost sight of those dreams and became lost in myself.

There was a period in my life that caused me to doubt my very existence on earth. I never really thought about killing myself but I was definitely committing murder... murder to my body, murder to my mind and murder to my soul. Life itself didn't mean much to me, I had no purpose and I was killing myself softly.

After a series of events - some life changing, some devastating, some enlightening - I came to a place in my life that required me to make a decision that would ultimately affirm whether I wanted to live or die. Thankfully by then I was in the right mind set to chose life but that did not mean that life came easy. I had brought death to the inner most parts of my being and my revival required dedication.

And as I cleaned up, removed junk and let go of alot of destructive remnants, I felt myself begin to rise up. I felt myself coming alive. My world started making sense and I started to see clearly. Then I realized something. Nothing was wrong with me before because I was worth it before, I had purpose before, I was loved before and I had life before. I just didn't know it.

Now, as I plow through my field of dreams and rediscover who I am - before the mess, before the dramas, before the drugs, before the alcohol, before sex, before anger, before shame - I feel exhilirated and amazed. Mostly amazed though because my field of dreams is right where I left it... just like God. And now, I've found something in me that no one can take away... i've found joy, i've found peace, i've found ME.

Be Blessed AS YOU REDISCOVER YOUR FIELD OF DREAMS

The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out. - Proverbs 20:5 NIV