Try a NEW thing

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Romans 12:2 AMP

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If there is one thing I know how to be everyday of the week, it is honest.  And though that sounds good, it usually poses a problem for me because I haven't quite mastered HOW to be honest without being offensive.  It is a common known fact that honesty is usually a hard pill for people to swallow, for me included.  Rarely do I encounter people that see the truth, hear the truth, receive the truth and choose to live the truth.   Based on personal experience and observation, I think this is because 'the truth' forces people to look at themselves 'inside' of themselves to see who they truly are when they are not 'putting on face', trying to impress others and/or trying to hide from themselves.  It can be scary, especially is you've been running from it for so long.  But it's so hard to keep up an act.  I think that's why so many of us are unhappy, frustrated and confused with 'how did I get here?' and 'is it ever going to get better?'  I say start with honesty.  Being honest with yourself and God.  And it will set you free to be who you want to be which is ultimately who you are meant to be.  So here's my honesty and truth.  Brace yourself, you may think that I have lost my mind this time.  But it's all good.  Because if I need to lose it to find it, then consider it lost.

I sometimes believe that God intended to make me a man.  I feel like He HAD to have made a mistake when He created me because all this woman/mother/wife stuff can get on my NERVES like nothing else.  Do I love my Husband?  Surely I do.  Do I love my kids? Of course.  Do I love the life God has blessed me with? I thank Him everyday.  So what's my problem?  God made me a woman who cares about people who only tend to care for themselves.  I wish I was a man (typical to most men I know) who live in their own world, in their own mind, in their own stuff, in their own logic and sense.  In other words, if it doesn't pertain to them, it doesn't occur to them. LOL.  I have to laugh because I know everything I am not saying is not completely true, but my truth today tells me it is because, to me, God is a comedian.  And He is the truth.

I grew up with three boys, my mom and dad.  So, predominately males - 4 to be exact.  And though I am not writing this e-mail to 'bash' males because I believe that they have a lot of qualities that create a balance, humour me for a few minutes to get this 'honesty' off of my chest.  For the majority of my life I have seen boys/men live their life in a way that presents as selfish, self-centered, ignorant and careless.  Oddly enough, I find those same characteristics in children.  So what am I saying?  Because of the fact that I feel, on most days, that I have NO PATIENCE for such behaviour's WHY would God make me a woman?  Why not a man so I could 'enjoy' the lackadaisical attributes of life in the same way they do?  Like children, lol.  Am I far gone on this one?  I just feel like as women we are asked for SOOOOO much and expected to do SOOOOO much that it would have to be some sort of punishment.  Then I thought about Eve (I told you that I may have lost it on this one).  Is it Eve's fault for CHOOSING a hard life when she had it so easy?  I mean, come on, she had it better than ANY woman for a few... days.  I don't know.  But what I do know is that when I was younger, my mom and I read a book about Ollie Mae the Octopus who was a mother and literally used all eight of her arms to get work done around the house and for the children.  Just thinking about it now, I don't believe there was a Mr. Ollie Mae... just overworked Mrs. Ollie Mae.

Sometimes me and my husband joke about Ollie Mae because I told him about her as I'm cooking, holding my youngest child, changing the show on television and trying to wash dishes.  My husband thinks it's funny.  I think it's insanity.  So what's my truth?  Do I embrace being Ollie Mae, the woman/mother/wife or do I curse my importance and dwell in the misery of my very existence?  My truth and honesty is to turn this all around IN MY MIND... BECAUSE GOD DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES.  My frustrations have been birthed to teach me something.  My new agenda in life is to learn to trade my peace for His Peace.  God didn't intend for life to be miserable or mediocre or suffered through from day to day.  We are supposed to 'have life and have it more abundantly' whether we are male, female, single, married, rich, poor, healthy, ill, educated or illiterate.  Our existence and happiness should not be predicated on outside stimuli but rather our internal stimuli, who is Jesus Christ.  This and ONLY THIS is why it is SOOOO important to embrace and KNOW who we are in Christ.  Because then nothing else would matter.  We would be able to have joy, peace, be content, loving, forgiving and GENUINELY selfless, regardless of our circumstances.

It all starts in the mind.  The renewing of the mind.  Relearning EVERYTHING that goes against 'having life more abundantly'.  It doesn't matter how your mother mishandled/misrepresented motherhood, do a NEW thing.  Impress yourself.  Its hard, trust me.  I wouldn't be rambling on about this if it were easy because I know EXACTLY what I have to do to find my peace and joy.  But the devil isn't letting me go that easy.  He wants me frustrated, tired and irritable because he knows that messes with the WHOLE atmosphere of my home.  And I feel it, i know when its happening.  It's definitely a fight, but I'm in it to win it.  If for nothing else, simply because I don't want my kids to grow up saying 'you never smiled, or laughed or had fun when we were growing up'.  That would just be such a waste of all my beautiful teeth lol. 

So there's honesty for you.  That's my truth.  And I feel better now.  Back on track.  Whether you found it inspiring or not is for you to decide.  But I strongly advise you to try it sometime.  Be honest with yourself.  What are your truths?  Mind-dump all your harboured fears, anxieties, frustrations, angers, disappointments, confusions... and let them go.  Write them down, then burn them.  Whatever it takes,  Try a NEW thing.  It feels good :)

Be Blessed in MIND-DUMPING... AND LETTING GO

The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). - John 10:10 AMP

For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not [a]adjusted and [b]adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to [c]a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently. - 1 Corinthians 10:13 AMP

God is Love. Love is Life. Life is in The Word.

Hand-Me-Downs

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2 NIV

This thought for the day was inspired by Bishop T.D. Jakes because I was listening to one of his messages "My Dreams" and he made a few statements that got me thinking. The gist of his words were that he can't stand to be around things that remind him of how broken or messed up he used to be because it provokes memories and he doesn't even want to think about those things or times in his life. So, I thought about what he said and I decided to look around me (well not literally because I was driving) and take an inventory of things that remind me or support old things, old ways and old habits.

Then I got to thinking about a casual conversation I had with a friend about something they do now that they remember seeing their parents doing when they were growing up ie. wetting up food with water before it is going to be thrown in the garbage. And when I asked why they do that (to get an understanding of the significance) they couldn't tell me. It was just something they always saw done in their house growing up. So, in my head, I was thinking 'so why are you still doing it?' My confusion wasn't because any thing was wrong with the way they chose to throw out food, it was more regarding the fact that they were imitating a 'way' that they didn't even understand for themselves which then got me thinking about hand-me-downs. So, I thought about this some more and I asked myself 'what hand-me-downs do I have and how do they affect my life positively or negatively today?'

In essence, the act of wetting and throwing out the food itself might not be a big deal but if an act has shaped who you are in some way shape or form, that's when it becomes a big deal. Let's use some different examples. If you are used to seeing your mother always looking in the mirror, spinning around, pinching this, tucking that, complaining about this and that... check yourself next time your getting dressed. Any similarities? Is that where your insecurities come from? Or next time your at the store and you see an item that you want but its not on sale however it could be with one switch of the sale tag, do you switch it? Who'd you learn that from? Or why are you buying old things or holding on to broken things if you have worked so hard to get to where you are, why do you still have an impoverished mentality? Or do you have a tendency to dive into relationships eyes and pocket first in hope that 'he is the one'? Did you see your auntie do that a lot? Or where did you get the 'way' that told you that it is okay to be in an emotionally void and/or abusive relationship because 'at least you got a man with a job and his own teeth'? The movies? Reality T.V.? Sunday dinner? Where did all these habits and ways come from? So, I challenge you.

I challenge you to take an inventory of yourself, as painful as it may be, and start connecting the dots to who you have become. If they are positive habits and traits, then great, but just double check that they are not 'positive traits' from your perspective alone. Because sometimes we also have a tendency to think everyone else is crazy when they don't understand something about us when in fact that trait or habit or way may really only be exclusive to your family or bloodline. Which would actually make YOU the 'crazy' one (lol). And if you do find those negative traits/habits/ways, get rid of them. You don't need those hand-me-downs because you're better than that. If you wouldn't take an old, ripped up, stained up shirt from you mother or father or grandmother, why are you taking on their bad habits, traits and/or ways?

I encourage you to dig DEEP into your closet for that box of hand-me-downs and unload them as soon as possible because whether you realize it or not, they are weighing you down, holding you back and keeping you stuck. Hand-me-downs are just as bad as 'baggage' and I don't know about you but I've found a new appreciation for travelling light. Looking up and appreciating all the good God has done for me is so much easier without the world on your back.

Be Blessed in GETTING RID OF YOUR HAND-ME-DOWNS

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19 NIV

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! - 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT